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Pulling my weight..

I've been terribly swamped at work.. well, no, that's not technically correct.. it's more like I've been terribly swamped at non work... business overall has been really quiet and have been working doubly and triply hard in order to bring in the numbers.

E@L did a great job in the last post. I must do my part.

My issues?

Basically, it's my relationship with food. I came from family where both of my parents were not around for me, and my care giver was my grand aunty. While she was uneducated, she gave me what she could afford, picked after me, cleaned after me... AND COOKED FOR ME...

The staples? Fatty pork cooked in dark source (accompanied by at least a centimetre thick of oil, no less), bee hoon cooked with Ma-Ling brand fatty pork, luncheon meat, Instant noodles.. and no less than 12 other dishes totally laden with cholesterol and fat.. all of the bad stuff and practically none of the good.

And yet... all these food remind me of the love that one woman had for me that others didn't... Is it really that surprising to see how strong the emotions these foods evoke within me?

I remember telling E@L over laksa the reasons why I wanted to lose weight... my children, I remember telling him, is the main reason...

I've a lively one year old.. while he was at 10 months, he was already walking around and demanding that we do things together... carry him, dance with him, sing to him, tickle him... Judging by things now.. it's likely that he's going to start wanting to do things other kids want to do with their dads.. go running, swimming, blading, play football... I'm afraid that when the time comes, I can't do it. I'm afraid of being less than what I'm expected to be.

I remember once when my elder 5-year-old daughter came up to me and said "Daddy.. you must eat less you know..."... when she was but only 4. She has used the word "fat" on me on numerous occasions. Did she hear it from her friends? Is she ashamed of being seen with me? If not, will the time ever come?

Last of all, I want to be still alive to see my kids graduate. I want to see them get married. I want to see them have children. I want to be a proud parent and grandparent...

These are the reasons why I want to be less of a man... in order to be more of the man I was meant to be....

Meanwhile, my progress report.

After my recent Surabaya trip, I continue to be at the 115kg level. Not bad, considering how one can slide on business trips.

The plan? Next week, I'm going for the Skatesport Unlimited classes which begins 25th February 2006... and I'm targetting 3 times a week.

Anyone want to accompany a big round scardy cat?


Posted by: pc on Feb 24, 06 | 12:59 am | Profile



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