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Bloody Hell Not ANOTHER Taxi-Driver Situation

What's this, taxi driver number 4 or 5 who has endeavoured commit Expatricide whilst killing himself during repeated episodes of somnautomativism (©E@L - "sleeping whilst driving") en route to the airport, for a change. Usually it's in the morning, when E@L arrives on the 6am return flight from Chennai or Johannesburg or Melbourne, that the drivers have been pulling an all-nighter and, desperate for that last $5 airport surcharge risk themselves and E@L, pushing themselves into circadian arrhythmia, drifting all over the road, nearly taking out the median strip flower beds...

E@L once had a bad experience being a helpless passenger when the crazy fuck driver (E@L's best friend) was doing 180km/h on a dirt road in an old Kingswood. Nothing actually happened save us running off the road and dislodging the exhaust pipe, but there was a moment when a car came unexpectedly over a rise in the briefest of moments when we were actually on the correct side of the road...

But that was long ago. E@L is almost over it now.

This was tonight.

- WAKE THE FUCK UP BROTHER! yelled E@L when he noticed a few slow and easy unnecessary lane changes.

This in itself is not unusual in Singaporean drivers. Changing lanes without indication and without any need to do so is as natural a part of the Singaporean Driving Ethic as is shifting down into 5th gear before you have even left the domain of the intersection, after accidentally stopping for a red light.

But E@L checked the driver's eyes while he was lane-drifting and they were doing the myasthenia gravis thing, droopy... droopy... CLOSED!

- HEY! yelled E@L

- ... (guilty silence), said the driver who was startled awake as E@L blasted him all the way to the airport!!!

At the departure drop-off, E@L told the driver to look into his eyes.

- You need sleep! Go home!

- Need to make money, too, he sullenly mumbled.

- You don't need to kill anyone though. E@L pointed a finger at him. I've got your number, brother. I've got your number.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lots of other taxi trauma to come - like the night E@L waited 70 minutes on hold get a tax! "You're call is important to us. You are currently caller No 27."... and nearly missed his flight home for Christmas! More on this later...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry for the dearth of post's lately but I hit the ground running after coming back from Bali. Social life AND work! Lot's of interesting stories from the weekend, but shit EVERYTHING about my life is bloggable... Ya gotta know when to draw the line, right Spike?

Lately I've been either out at hospitals or doing training in the office, so not slacking off in front of the works computer while pretending to earn money for the boss like most other employed bloggers seem to manage to do.

I'm posting this from the SQ 1st Class Lounge at Changi. The Manila trip was postponed did I mention?, so I am of to Tokyo and then Montreal with only winter clothes packed. Thank's for the advice on this earlier Sav!

In Tokyo, I doubt that I will have Internet access but should be able to catch up with you guys and bring you up to date re: social life when I get to Canada. On the flight home, I am on the New York > Singapore flight which is 18hrs 40mins. Holy fuck. I'll remember to bring my power cord with me. Should be able to write several chapters of the novel during that time! Chapter One would be a good start.

Oops time to board.... So, soon-ish, yar?

E@L

MORE...


Posted by: expat@large on Jan 16, 07 | 10:15 pm | Profile


OTHER MONKEYS SAID



"This in itself is not unusual in Singaporean drivers. Changing lanes without indication and without any need to do so is as natural a part of the Singaporean Driving Ethic as is shifting down into 5th gear before you have even left the domain of the intersection, after accidentally stopping for a red light."

Have not had any experience driving on the roads in Singapore before but I can safely say that Singaporean drivers are better than Malaysian drivers. I think. I've been driving around, playing chaffeur for the parental unit. Tis a mortifying experience.

Have a good trip hun.


Posted by: VirginPornStar on Jan 16, 07 | 11:27 pm

glad to be of service *w*


Posted by: savannah on Jan 21, 07 | 4:48 am

exVPS - Singaporean drivers being better than Malaysian drivers is cold comfort in a warm climate... Still, Italian drivers are worse than the lot!

Sav - cheers!


Posted by: expat@large on Jan 21, 07 | 5:08 am


THIS MONKEY SAYS




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