Won't Power

What is with just a few (four) Hoegaardens and just one cheeze pizza every once in a while? Maybe steamed fish-head with black bean sauce? Maybe some honey-soy marinated pork chops? Maybe a great pile of prawn and squid curry? OK and some kaya toast and coffee for breakfast (and afternoon tea) a few times. Most days. Great diet, yeah?

My last fortnight of redoubled efforts in the gym and swimming pool have all come to naught because I am a fucking greedy guts pig. With low self-esteem issues to boot, which only "feeds" the problem.

The other week, keenly anticipating great things in the body modification department due to all this exercise, I went to BritishIndia (the shop, not time travel) and purchased a couple of quite trendy colonial/exploitive style linen shirts made for a pittance by scores of malnourished, blind, orphan pre-schooler partial-amputee girls who survived pre-natal abortion attempts in the muddy expanses of a post-flood-due-to-Nepali-deforestation Bangladesh, only paying a couple of hundred bucks each even though they were a TAD tight-fitting (even the Boxy Cut!) in the hope I would loose some centimetres in non-necessary places, and look sopisticated and post-colonial/exploitative at the Xmas three-huge-roasts feast with eight bottles of wine each, all served on our last-of-the-rain-forest-of-Nepal timber outdoor setting, at my mum's sweltering, drought-afflicted, bush-fire-threatened Victorian (Australia, not Canada or time travel) home.

Water drought, wine flood? Please explain.

I'll never fit into them (remember the BritishIndia shirts?). I'll be wearing intead those business shirts I had made in Shenzen six years ago (by exploited AIDS-orphaned children working 18hrs a day in death-trap factories masquerading as schools in the pollution-thick urban sewers of Guandong provence) because at least they still fit me.

Well, I've put on 2kgs in the course of my diet this last two weeks. Brilliant diet, eh? Herbaldeath meal replacements, fruit and juice all day, followed by metablism boosting exercise...

It just leads me to this ravenous hunger in the evenings which must be fed! By cheese and biccies while I cook dinner. And I when I cook, I cook for two. And when I go out with the Blokes from The Pub, it's often happy hour. Bugger. It pisses me off.

I really hate dieting, all I can think about is food. I buy cookbooks, blog about restaurants, read ChubbyHubby, in fact I do everything wrong.

And it's not a Will-Power issue.

It's Won't Power I lack.

And now someone's gone and emailed me: "Want to do drinks and a feed tonight?"

Shit.

"OK."

E@L

MORE...


Posted by: expat@large on Dec 12, 06 | 1:17 pm | Profile


OTHER MONKEYS SAID



Why don't you just blame it on that bastard who keeps saying lets go get a beer and a pizza?


Posted by: Indiana on Dec 12, 06 | 2:15 pm

*THAT* prick? Don't even mention his name!

I would blame him, but that wouldn't explain the previous 25 years of failed diet attempts.


Posted by: expat@large on Dec 12, 06 | 2:28 pm

I don't do diets, i simply LOVE My pizzas and beers. :)
Work it out, dont bother dieting.


T


Posted by: T on Dec 12, 06 | 3:41 pm

But 25 more years of underworked out pizzas and beers and you've become fat bastard like me.

I really do not enjoy exercise or sport, except cricket skiing and golf and surfing (25 years ago).


Posted by: expat@large on Dec 12, 06 | 7:00 pm

GASP, UR SO OLD? haha
and i thought you were 25. -wink-


Posted by: T on Dec 12, 06 | 7:32 pm

don't laugh...BUT, try the one less rule: one less beer, one less bite, one less glass of wine, etc...be kind to yourself as you try to change your eating habits. last piece of unsolicited advice, stop calling it a diet...everyone knows that stands for "did i eat that?"


Posted by: savannah on Dec 12, 06 | 9:43 pm

T - I feel like a 25 yo. For dessert...

Sav - One less, but what if I was originally going to have five more?

I need The Mouse (check the archives) back cooking low fat meals for me at dinner time, that's when I actually did lose weight. Not out eating kway teow and white carrot (turnip) omelet [tastes better than it sounds] and satay and BBQ chicken wings and chicken fried rice and drinking beers with Indy and Mercer like tonight...


Posted by: expat@large on Dec 12, 06 | 10:41 pm

p.s. A really very large lady friend has just had gastric banding, already lost 13kgs in 3 weeks. She needs to lose a lot more...


Posted by: expat@large on Dec 12, 06 | 10:43 pm

it's a CONCEPT...the idea, dear heart, is that the last one will taste just as good as the first one...*L*...besides, we aren't in our 30s anymore, sugar *w* (i'll check your achives re mouse)

ps. bariatric surgery is worse case scenario...try moderation first


Posted by: savannah on Dec 12, 06 | 11:52 pm

Mate, that is one of the funniest things I have read for ages....I agree with Indy, I'd blame your mates for not being supportive enough...I have some of those shirts left over from when I lived in Penang LOL
Would Savannah advocate 1 less mate also?

You should get T-Shirts made "Won't Power Rules"


Posted by: Scorpy on Dec 13, 06 | 9:22 am

I've been told it's a healthy balance between diet and exercise.

Maybe you should try having a more substantial lunch, so you won't be so ravenous by dinner. Me, I'm ravenous all the time now. No cigarettes anymore. Least not till the weekend. Unfortunately the food cooked at home isn't very...palatable.


Posted by: VirginPornStar on Dec 13, 06 | 11:08 am

Scorpy...I AM the unsupportive bastard who drags him out for beers and pizza ~grin~


Posted by: Indiana on Dec 13, 06 | 12:57 pm

Scorpy - Or "I Conquered Anorexia!"

xVPS - should I take up smoking?

Sav - just *moderate* surgery then...

Salad for the next three days...

Indy - you are EVIL, you have corrupted me totally!


Posted by: expat@large on Dec 13, 06 | 2:49 pm

I would say, ditch that evil friend. -wink-



T


Posted by: T on Dec 13, 06 | 2:55 pm

No, no that's too extreme. You can come live in my home in Malaysia, the cooking in my household here is totally horrible. Puts you off food.

Indy does a lot of corrupting doesn't he? Naughty.


Posted by: VirginPornStar on Dec 13, 06 | 6:35 pm

T: You would ditch me...that is evil.
VPS: Anyone I have ever corrupted loved the experience. ~grin~


Posted by: Indiana on Dec 14, 06 | 8:50 am


THIS MONKEY SAYS




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