ArseBruise: The YouTube Movie

Thanks for the thousands of cards and letters pouring in from my concerned readers wondering how my arse is of late. World War VI immanent, catastrophes left, right and centre as the everything explodes in a fireball of racial hatred and globalist evil fuelled by religious zealots and power-hungry despots -- and I'm not just talking Singapore! -- and shucks, all you want to see is the bruise on my bum.

As you no doubt recall, I fell over on the way to Indy's a fortnight ago and gave myself a whopping great smack on the bum. Over the past two weeks I took a photo each day in bathroom. Bloody awkward twisting around to press the camera... The things I do just because Mia* suggests them, it's amazing really.

For the squeamish amongst you I've subtley edited out the less salubrious details of my hairy arse-crack so that the kiddies won't have nightmares.

Note how the bruise spreads out over time, leaving the yellow stain of heparin under the skin as it fades, tracking across my crack and up my back across the sacro-iliac joint while moving down my thigh laterally.

It hurts still, mainly just where the initial Day 1 bruise was, but also into the lumbo-sacral junction at the top of my arse-crack.

So with out further ado! The Envelope Puhlease!

Here is the evidence! E@L's Arse:The Movie. "Crack" a tinny, sit back, put the feet up and enjoy...


* "Totally you have to YouTube it! Thats going to be ever so pretty!" (personal correspondence)


Posted by: expat@large on Oct 15, 06 | 4:29 pm | Profile


Oh thats just toooooooo pretty!! ~grin~

Very impressive, hope you're all better now.

Posted by: Mia on Oct 15, 06 | 5:42 pm

The unexpurgated version can be had for a price...

Posted by: expat@large on Oct 15, 06 | 6:19 pm

Half a mooncake?

Posted by: Mia on Oct 15, 06 | 6:20 pm

LOL...You did are a You-Tube star...and last night you were denying.

Posted by: Indiana on Oct 15, 06 | 7:19 pm

Your arse is going to be famous.LOL.

But it looks as though it's getting better though. =)

Posted by: VirginPornStar on Oct 15, 06 | 7:26 pm

Mia: Ha ha. Very witty.

Indy: What??? I lied? Moi?

NonVPS: My arse is going to be grass if I don't call my mother and sister soon!

Posted by: expat@large on Oct 15, 06 | 11:50 pm

ouch! shame you edited out the crack details. avoid anal for a week and you'll be fine. Next time I have a hemorrhoid removed I'll put it on you tube too.

Posted by: Milos Sadik on Oct 16, 06 | 1:12 am

I'm sorry. I'm back here again. It's rather fascinating to watch.And the colours do look rather pretty.

Posted by: VirginPornStar on Oct 16, 06 | 3:31 am

Milos: keep it in your trousers. I'll tell you the story of my anal fissure one day and we can share tear-inducing tales of agonical bowel motions.

NonVPS: The Eternal Sunset of The Spotty Bum? And the offer of real-time viewing has passed. "We apologises for any convenience", to quote a sign I saw in HK once. Please see our Customer Service Desk for a refund.

Posted by: expat@large on Oct 16, 06 | 11:44 am

Have you considered getting a Boyzilian wax?

Posted by: chlim01 on Oct 16, 06 | 3:13 pm

No. Alvin, no. Most emphatically, no.

Posted by: expat@large on Oct 16, 06 | 4:01 pm

But hey, if I got a bac-sac-n-crac, and got trim and fit, I could be a REAL movie star like Bruce Willis or


wait for it...

Bruise Will Arse...
... *groan*...

Posted by: expat@large on Oct 16, 06 | 5:06 pm

I'm thrilled to see that you are still up to no good.

Too bad I missed out on the dinner last Saturday although M tells me that it was rather brief for The Son and him.

Posted by: Hairydonut2 on Oct 17, 06 | 2:30 pm

Oh! Have just realised that those are not beige pants. Nice photo editing there!

Posted by: Hairydonut2 on Oct 17, 06 | 2:33 pm

Beige pants? Do I resemble Mariah Carey to you?

It didn't go swimmingly for MM and MB - pity as I haven't had a chance to catch up viz-a-viz being viz-a-viz for quite a while. And I be so busy next month and half, only a few days in Snagapore.

Posted by: expat@large on Oct 17, 06 | 2:50 pm


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