Saturday Night In Singapore
... and I haven't a clue where to go and what to do.
Been here 2 years, on and off, and I still haven't got a weekend rhythm going.
And still I see ZERO options for a single, rich, bald, fat and unattractive man of my age with no party friends other than Orchard Towers and I just don't want to go there and get hassled by prostitutes who may or may not have a dick. At least not until I am really drunk. And as I am on a diet again (apart from dinner tonight) I should avoid alcohol - I'll leave that last 1/3 of pinot noir in the bottle ...
I'm gonna put in that Steve Martin movie, what was it?...
Gawd I miss Hong Kong.
OK it's only 11:30pm, way too early to seriously think of going out, but later on I could hang in Delaneys until the match was over, pop into Firehouse to see if Honey's sister was in and cop a squeeze or two, cruise Fenwicks and get hit for 4000 drinks on the elusive promise of a good night, listen to some Tagalog R&B at The Wanch, hit the fire-risk dance floor at Dusk til Dawn to burn off those alcohol kilojoules, carefully check out the talent at Neptunes and Boracay trying to avoid some of Spike's ex's, pop into Delaneys again with the English boys to fight over some half-remembered FA cup statistics, and then gather up the momentum for either a wank at Club Popeye or a bj in the back tables at Strawberrys as the sun rises upstairs.
You know: something sophisticated.
And all in the space of about 400 square yards. Staggering distance.
Wanchai -- fucking brilliant!
OTHER MONKEYS SAID
Jesus E@L! I've been fishing for a transfer to Hong Kong from my employer for the last 12 months. On Thursday they offered me 2 years in Singapore! (spent a bit of time in both). Been mulling it over all weekend and you've just clarified it in my mind with a single fucking brilliant paragraph.
If you are unfortunate enough to be railroaded into coming to Singapore, look me up...
I forgot add to my paragraph - "and I could tell all my work colleagues next week that I just had a few drinks at Mes Amis or Klong and everyone thinks I am a saint..."
Fingers crossed for HK.
or that this could ANY NIGHT of the week!
oops too late go out here now, it's fucking 12:30. (I did finish that wine, can you tell?)
IF you were in Phnom Penh today, you could enjoy the city's very first Slut Sunday Special.
(Then again this is Phnom Penh, where every day is a Slut Sunday Special.)