You Are What You Read

I can't blog on. I blog on.


I have had a big surge of hits in the last few days. Have I suddenly become famous? Have I been "browned" or "saronged" or "see-laied" again? Or is that my writing has touched a raw nerve in the hyperaesthenic society of Singaporean or, less-insular and infantile, WORLD bloggerdom, and I have become locus of some viral popularity? Have people finally seen the deep and sensitive side of me? Have women in particular - most of which sex shun my blog perhaps on the ground it represents an exercise in some sort of macho, sexploitative bravura, or that it reveals me as a juvenile-humoured, self-obsessed, unattractive, overweight, bald person - have women I say, suddenly seen through the facade of jolly, insensitive, self-deprecating, Falstaffian excess to the soft-hearted damaged boy hidden inside, the boy whose heart cries out in a desperate plea for understanding, partnership, nurturing and sharing?

No. It seems not. Lucky, because that boy took off on his bike about 20 years ago.

And he's not coming back.

Single, tough-minded and proud, that's E@L today. Reading tough he-man books by Tom Clancy, Clive Cussler and Lee Child. John Grisham. Grrrr. Tough. Wilbur Smith! Take that, karate CHOP!! Anyone who read those sorts of books isn't going to get heaps of adoring female readers to his blog! That's for sure! 'Cause he doesn't want em! He's a man! And he's too tough to care!

He's not the frail, unloved boy amusing himself in the corner of the room, reading sensitive nearly-gay books [maybe A Separate Peace by John Knowles, maybe The Garden of the Finzi-Continis by Giorgio Bassani], mind adrift in fantasies of deeply meaningful but not poofy male friendships, walking down imaginary Bostonian 19 Century streets trying to catch the eye of a delicate-skinned flouncy-dressed virginal girl in the window and urging her to flash her tits, playing his imaginary role as Hero in chivalrous romances and Arthurian legends where flouncy-dressed delicately-skinned maidens perform magical feats of deft fellatio, ready to burst into sensitive tears of tremulous joy at the drop of a pair of frilly knickers...


OK, my real question here is: if Scorpy and Indiana read such macho trash pulp rubbish - sorry guys, just my humble opinion - how come female bloggers and female readers flock to their blogs, commenting all the time, flirting, playing coy, teasing? All I ever get is self-promoting lunacy from F*ckDaddy, Izzy's moderately insane boyfriend.

[Addendum -- We Were Wrong -- Mia reminds me ("What am *I*? Chopped liver?") that when she remembers her password and when I am not totally offending her, hey, she ocassionally makes a comment. Also Mdme Chiang and Smoot are regular snide remarkers commenters. Though I doubt if they actively flirt like the girls seem to do with Scorpy... Then again I am so thick I would miss all but the the most brazen of crotch-grabs (which reminds me of a story - another time). All of which only goes to undercut the whole point of the line, which is what we in the trade call a joke.]

Is it a case of the "I was a successful and sensitive New Age guy yet my wife of 15 years dumped me for a trailer-trash bikie drug-courier" syndrome?

Or is it what they write, rather than what they read?

Thoughts to keep one awake during office hours. (95% of my job is turining up.)


BTW, most of my new hits are German Googlers trying to get copies of the asscandle photo I posted a few weeks ago, or for some inexplicable reason, that photo of me looking over the shoulder of two Phuket hookers. What is with Germans?

All of the non-image searches that find me are variations around the word "large." Use your imagination.

No-one else can.


Actually this post was really just a big plug for aNobii, the book-shelf software.



Posted by: expat@large on Jul 13, 06 | 2:06 pm | Profile


The women love Scorpy and I simply because we do read macho trash pulp crap to balance out our more snesitive sides...c'mon Expat everyone knows that women want you to be sensitive but they also need to know that when it's raqining at 8:45AM and they are running late for work, you will be the one outside changing their flat tire, not suggesting they ring AA.

And to be truthful I only read the macho trash pulp while on laying on the beach doing nothing much at all. ~grin~

Posted by: Indiana on Jul 14, 06 | 11:30 am

I found out what women really want here


"Women seem to especially like it if you are more devoted to your bad music, biker gang, forearm tattoo or marijuana. These all seem to work wonders. There are some interests you can show in a woman that will help you to fuck her: a healthy interest in destroying her self-esteem and in fucking her friends more than her seem to work wonders. Note that the following topics of disinterest have been field tested and shown conclusively not to work: Unix, literature, poetry, international politics, and sodomy.

Novelty - Let's face it, if you're like every other guy who works a normal job and tries to live a good life, you're probably like just about every other guy. Chicks don't dig this, and why would they? Who wants someone who is just like everyone else? Something different is more attractive. Like someone who does not have to work during the day like most people because they have lots of money from business or selling drugs. Or like someone who has stabbed a man and went to prison for it."

Posted by: expat@large on Jul 14, 06 | 6:32 pm

Well since I have always got dumped by being me, there might actually be something in this. ~grin~

Posted by: Indiana on Jul 15, 06 | 12:25 am

It's been a while since I've even got to the stage in a relationship where I CAN get dumped! LOL! crying! LOL! crying!

Posted by: expat@large on Jul 15, 06 | 12:29 am

LOL...but to answer your question...maybe women read Scorpy and my blog for the simple reason they want to truly believe there really are guys out there wo are more than macho-trash...

...but I really think it's becasue of how and what we write, since they are oft dissappointed in the flesh. ~grin~

Our Mission: to get Expat into a relationship.

Posted by: Indiana on Jul 15, 06 | 1:48 am


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