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Trying Not to Roll My Eyes

A hypothetical sales demo for a hypothetical ultrasound machine:

The machine is a modern digital system that can capture the moving ultrasound images directly to either the hard-disk, where it is stored as your choice of AVI file or high quality Line Data - to be converted to AVI later for archiving onto a CD - or it can be sent directly to the hospital network as a DICOM (the medical image standard file format) file. It's called digital ultrasound. It's called the 21st Century.

As this modern hypothetical hospital doesn't have all its hypothetical scanners connected to the hypothetical network, the hypoaesthenic echo-tech assessing our machine wanted us to hook it up to her cheap and nasty video recorder, you know, a VHS VCR - remember them? Very hypothetical. It's an effort these days find a shop that sells VHS tapes in Singapore. Oops, we have no spare video output point on our system as it is currently taken up with the B&W printer, (yeah we could've got a t-junction but fuckit) however we managed to find a better quality S-VHS machine from our office.

We did not have that conventional video option installed on our demo machine because well, see paragraph 1. There are controls ready on the panel ripe to go, sure and we can take complete control of the tape deck from the machine WHEN WE HAVE THAT OPTION INSTALLED, but it isn't, right? For this brief demo, rather than our dealer spend $5000 USD on an option that no-one else would ever use, and seeing as how you have already decided to buy another brand of system (we can tell from the body-language), we can just jack the S-VHS into the video output and use a remote control button to start and stop the recording.

Me: OK?

She: Sure. [pause] How do I start the recording?

Me: You just press the remote control.

She: Where are the controls on the panel?

Me: There here, see, but that option is not installed, so they're greyed out: you'll have to press the remote control.

She: Can I start it from the panel?

Me: No, just use the remote control. That function isn't installed.

She: OK I'm ready to record, what do I do?

Me: Press the remote button.

She: Why doesn't this button on the panel work?

Me: That option is not installed.

She: So what do I do?

Me: Press the remote button.

She: Where is the remote button?

Me: I've jammed it up your fucking arse you stupid bint! [Beating her to death with a bottle of cold gel...]



Posted by: expat@large on Apr 19, 06 | 2:30 pm | Profile


Why? Why do you bother? Seems like so much effort and trouble for nothing but aggro.

Posted by: Smootie on Apr 19, 06 | 5:04 pm

Because we are nice people, it's in our nature. Because we might make a sale next time. Because someday she might be Head of Department. Because they pay me well. Because I have no other skills. Because it is vastly amusing -- in retrospect.

Posted by: expat@large on Apr 19, 06 | 6:08 pm


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