My Recreational Activities...

Skippy-san says he envies me...

My "recreational activites" are fading away into a dim memory as I slide futher into a chronic mid-life crisis where everything about the Assisted Ejaculation Industry turns me right off...

Something is wrong with me - somehow the thought of some poor innocent girl coerced out of her village at 16 and then forced to be intimate with horribly unattractive people like me all day and night for years and years until she becomes corrupted, hardend, cynical and drug-addled...

Well, it just isn't the turn-on it used to be...

I need to get this self-loathing out of my system. I think I am suffering some of that "I hate everything" malaise you had the other week, Skip... Plus I am certainly getting a cold. My throat has an uncomfortable dry tickle, my nose is starting to run. And I am heading off to infect Bangkok on Sunday.

For example, Orchard Towers the other night was a total torture to me. For twenty minutes I was grumpy and surly, in total denial about what I was doing there. Then SHE approached and I said yes, just to get home. (I was with others and didn't want to create a scene - though really I WANTED to... to scream at the people, to tell them to go home, to stop this exploitation, to stop this sex that I wasn't enjoying... )

The girl was gorgeous, the sex was terrible and *I* got exploited to the tune of $200. I didn't feel in the mood for negotiation down to the typical Ipanema mid-week rate of $100-150, and like the price matters to someone on my exhorbitant salary - not. It's not a pissing up against the wall contest about how little you paid your hooker...

Maybe it's my conscience. Finally, some might say.

Maybe it's Singapore.

Maybe it's me.

**************

You love me, but you don't know who I am.
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand...
3DoorsDown, Seventeen Days, "Let Me Go".


E@L

MORE...


Posted by: expat@large on Mar 10, 06 | 11:42 pm | Profile


OTHER MONKEYS SAID



Sounds like a part of you wants to move home?


Posted by: Indiana on Mar 11, 06 | 8:35 am

Probably I want to FIND a home...

I thought I had one in Hong Kong. My flat there was ace, rooftops drinks, views over Central and HK park, lots of sleazy low-life friends in Wanchai. I thought I understood the place, at least I could work it for whatever mood I was in, you know what I mean?

Here, I am truly lost. I wouldn't have a clue where to take someone to have a good time - a let your hair down, take over the street, don't be afraid of the cops, of the government, HK style good time.

I just don't GET Singapore. It's like trying to have a party in your Grandma's house - you can't be loud, you've got to clean up, your potential for fun (and everything else) has all these RESTRICTIONS...

Aaaarrggghhh...

It's an drab apartment block in East Germany before The Wall came down, full of Stasi informers, compared to a rollicking beer-hall in Bavaria with drunken Aussie's hijacking a tram or something stupid...


Posted by: expat@large on Mar 11, 06 | 8:51 am

Actually I know how you feel. I had similar feelings last week after getting "used" by an OT girl. She jsut could not get into it..........

However I do still envy your travel though. That is one thing I never tire of......


Posted by: Skippy-san on Mar 14, 06 | 1:00 pm

Yep, as I thought - it's Singapore. OT is the culprit for my current disillusionment in the AEI.

In contrast, my single-serving friend from Long Gun last night was very pleasant, thoughtful and appreciative and I feel 100% better.

Note to self: avoid Vietnamese hookers.

There is a section Neal Stephenson's most excellent "Cryptonomicon" where he plots a chart of the reduction in sex-based distraction (from the character's code-breaking work) afforded by either an innocent wank or a risky fuck - most amusing piece of mathematics.

The travel is not actually bugging me so much because my TV is still on the blink, plus this week it's BKK and next week it's Bali...!!!

However, at some stage I NEED to see all those DVDs.


Posted by: expat@large on Mar 14, 06 | 5:16 pm


THIS MONKEY SAYS




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