In Kuala Lumpur SIA First Class Lounge
The guy on the small table right next to me has taken off his shoes and placed his feet on the table! He has his laptop on his lap as he types away and talks on his mobile.
First class fucking savages.
There is absolutely no decent food in this airport. Tenth class sandwiches and greasy pastries, with warm beer in the SIA lounge. Outside, I wander looking for something to tide me over, as lunch was an abominably bad Panang-style laska in KL - not one bit of tofu or prawn or oyster or chicken nor even coconut milk for that matter - just some pineapple and thick noodles in a bitter brown soup-sauce. How could they call this laksa?
There is nothing worth/safe for eating. In Sbarro Italian, the pizza looks dessicated from hours in the bain-marie and yet undercooked. I venture to order a croque-monsuier in Delifance and it is a) microwaved to a pulp and b) full of tuna! I leave it after one gag-inducing bite. I am desperate enough to order a bland and disnutritious chicken burger in Burger king. The chips were OK...
I feel tainted and dirty. Nothing in Malaysia can appease this feeling of unease.
I need a REALLY fresh bread roll with vegemite on it.
Am I having a nervous breakdown and therefore everything seems like shit to me, or is that fact that everything is shit giving me the nervous breakdown?
On the good side, I picked up the DVDs of seasons 2 and 3 of The X-files. [Addendum: Fucking prick at the counter slipped me an empty case of Series 3! No wonder he gave me a $(MYR)10 discount... Death to Pirates!!!]
Also on the good side, we drove through Ipoh, in the moutainous central part of Malaysia, which is magnificent - limestone mountains: Halong Bay, Guilin, Krabi; of that ilk. Marble mines, cement factories. You'd better hurry, it is all being shipped off in a mad rush.
OTHER MONKEYS SAID
I can't believe it! It's just like some other random dude I know who ordered an Ice Mocha in Bintan! More like an Ice Diarrhoea in Bintan. Nothing like forking out a premium for an Ice Diarrhoea to complete a truly satisfying experience.
The only time food is really good in Malaysia is if it's eaten in a non-airconditioned joint, surrounded by really dubious looking people and right next to the highway or some other busy thoroughfare. It's almost a law.
Didn't you miss that Tex-Mex?
Don't scoff, I ordered a ice-blended mocha in a TCC in Penang on Tuesday. No ill effects.
I had iced tea in a non-air-con joint surrounded by REALLY dubious looking people right next to the highway in Ipoh yesterday. It was terrible. Apparently the rice-noodles are what you come to Ipoh for. Or the tin. Or the marble. Or the marble. Or the spelunking. Or the bats.
The Tex-Mex was great. Aren't you lucky to get it every day?
YOU HAD IPOH HOR FUN????!!!!!! (It's pronounced "Ipoh Whore Fun"). How was it? Was it, like, the most fantastic bowl of noodles in gravy ever?! I'd kill for a bowl of that. In fact, I used to go to church just for that when I was 13, because a friend from that church would bring me to this cool joint for Ipoh Hor Fun after the service.
No, my colleague had mushy rice noodles with several different sauces/gravies. Looked terrible. I shook my head and said: "Carbohydrates!" He nodded and said: "Yumm!"
We had much more whore fun the night before in Penang...