If every copy of any book by Dan Brown exploded with sufficient force to atomize their readers into a fine red mist, a) it would a good thing and b) about half the beach-lounges in the triquereme of plastic along Ao Patong would become vacant.
After a disinfecting hosing down, they would then become available to more discerning readers, beach-bums and sybarites, such as E@L should he have become so perverted and de-Aussiefied in his Expat ways as to accede to PAYING for the privelege of lying on any frigging beach.
("beach-bum" - there's an expression you don't hear much any more. At least *E@L* doesn't, not since he got that paying job back in 1976.)
OTHER MONKEYS SAID
Good news! Now that Singapore's People's Association is teaching Singaporean women pole dancing, you don't have to travel all the way to Phuket to look for pole dancers any more! w00t!
You've made my day, Alvin!
Now just waiting for them to teach FBO MEN how to pole-dance...