Wedding Daze

All was a great a success at the wedding, if by success one means there was no heart-broken rejected-but-true-love flinging the church doors open at the last minute bringing the whole procedure to a dramatic hiatus and rushing down the aisle to claim the bride or groom as their own. Nope, nothing so interesting. Unless you call the fact that the paperwork for Doug's annulment wasn't signed until the bride got out of the car in front of the church interesting as opposed to poorly managed.

Yep, as per usual in the E@L fambly, nothing was prepared until the extreme last minute. As another example of our fambly's genetic predisposition to being bad at project management, E@L spent the entire Friday afternoon printing, folding, stapling and mutating the Wedding Booklets into shape. Note the use of the copper staples - for CLASS! An E@L innovation. But it all should have been done months ago. Sigh.

Having watched Wedding Crashers on the plane, E@L took Owen Wilson's advice and went for the sentimental (from the heart!) rather than the faux-humorous in his off the cuff speech - long search, fulfillment, so much love to give, yada, yada. Kept it short as well, before too many people started crying (out for more champagne).

He thought the poem he read during the ceremony went alright as well, until the priest considered that the best way to include its message in his homiliy was to repeat it word for word. Dunce.


Here's the stunned happy couple at the church, at the traditional "signing away of the inheritance".


Out of the goodness of his chequebook E@L paid for some dozen bottles of Moet, which stunned the predominently beer-drinking crowd into a frenzy of bubbly induced mirth with only one case of reverse gastric peristalsis recorded for the day! Mind you the beer was none to shabby either, with nothing less than Crown Lager for these freeloaders! And that reminds me, the wonderful nibbly food from a place called Scof's [link updated - forgot to mention that E@L picked up one of those hand-held rotary metal cheese-graters thingies... excellent! Didn't have to go to Milan, they had one in Geelong!] was truly excellent and great value - well done Wayne!... as were the desserts from Paula's friend Pat.

E@L put on 4kgs over the weekend.


Here's the bride's fambly all lined up for the photo firing-squad with E@L being the one with the stoopid look on his face for this picture (there's always someone doing something awkward when the shutter opens.)


Note 1) E@L's jacket pocket does not have its flappy thing hanging out [that'd be a "lapel"]; 2) Nat's jacket unbuttoned (no, strange internet stalkers, you cannot have his email address); 3) Paula's strap hanging off her shoulder; 4) Paula looking photo-ed out... 5) Dorothea's beautiful Shanghai Tang scarf (who would have given her that for Christmas?) clashing nicely with E@L's tie; 6) Margot's "get me out this family's clutches" grin.


As the Moet and the Crownies flowed down throats, there was a slight lessing of the inhibitions overall - nothing too dramatic - but a certain single gentleman of advancing years confided to E@L the secret for (his) enduring happiness with the lady females of the opposite sex.

"Don't bother with this marriage stuff," he says. "Too bloody complicated. Just go get a hooker and pay for it. Simple, no headaches, financial transaction, everyone knows where they stand [or lie - lay?], do as you please and you're as happy as Larry..."

Not really a comment in the spirit of the afternoon, but E@L took careful note and stood wondering if he could apply that uncommonly admitted (but admittedly common) philosophy to the expat lifestyle...



Posted by: expat@large on Nov 23, 05 | 11:47 am | Profile


Phil's back! Phil's back! *jumps up and down excitedly* what did you bring me?

Posted by: MercerMachine on Nov 23, 05 | 3:23 pm

A life, Mercer dude, a life.

It is obvious that you sorely need one if my blog's getting you so excited!


Posted by: expat@large on Nov 23, 05 | 3:39 pm

errr phil, can you find a American History X dvd, and put the cover beside this picture of ur fambly.

Do you have a swastika on ur chest?


Posted by: XenoBoy on Nov 23, 05 | 8:44 pm

Xenodude, shame on you to equate neatly trimmed goatee beards (and moustaches) with fascism! It's merely a coincidence - ask my Uncle Vladimir Ulyanov...

Mind you it's a good call - I DO have an American History X DVD copy with me (and American Pie, American Beauty, American Splendour, American Psycho, American Graffiti, and The Quiet American) and there is an frowning expression that Eddie Norton and I do seem to have in common.


he has more hair on his head but I have more compassion in my heart. At least I'd like to think I do.


Posted by: expat@large on Nov 23, 05 | 11:04 pm

hahaha def more compassion! Both of you are squinting ur eyes in the same way ... its fuckin uncanny and cracks me up!

do it phil! put up the cover of American History X and this pic for ur next entry ... before and after

As for dvds, I did have Debbie Does America, plus dallas, plus alaska and so on hahaha

Posted by: XenoBoy on Nov 24, 05 | 4:40 am


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