Brad Pitt and E@L - seperated at birth?

There's this fat, old, bald guy in a Girly-Bar, oggling the talent.

Q: What is wrong with this picture?

A: Nothing.

Except for the value-system of the person looking, making these judgement-laden observations. What the fuck are they doing in a Girly-Bar if they are so freaking great-looking? Presumably, otherwise they wouldn't have been so specific, they themselves are neither fat, nor bald, and nor (as yet) old. So why aren't they out bashing off supermodels with a stick?

Girly-Bars were created FOR fat, old, bald guys. They are the target demographic! This is THEIR turf! This is where we these people are MEANT to go, in a consumerish way...

Get. Over. It.

The real question should be, What are all these slim, hirsute, young guys doing in Girly-Bars?



How many time does the stereotype have to be... stereoed, typed, I don't fucking know? E@L is reading a heap of Girly-Bar (and peripheral colonial-guilt) novels as an exercise in investigating this issue.

Reading and Re-reading List: (first publications in parenthesis)

Private Dancer. Stephen Leather, Three Elelphants, 2005
Bangkok 8. John Burdett, Bantam Press, 2003
The Quiet American. Graham Greene, Vintage 2002 (1955)
White Ghosts. Will Rhodes, Simon & Schuster, 2004
A Cry In The Jungle Bar. Robert Drewe, Picador, 1988 (1979)
Thai Girl. Andrew Hicks, TYS Books, 2004
Sukhumvit Road. David Young, Hostage Press, 2005
The Scribe. David Young, DK Editions, 2000
Losing The Plot. Chuck Woww, AhnDai Books, 2003
The Great Hong Kong Sex Novel. George Adams, AIP 1993 (now available free on the Internet.)
Burmese Days. George Orwell, Pengion 1986 (1934)
The Wanchai Chronicles. Svend Christiansen, iUniverse, 2005
Standard Deviations. Karl Taro Greenfield, Chameleon Pres, 2002
Invisible Trade. Gerrie Lim, Monsoon, 2004
The Malayan Trilogy (Time for A Tiger, The Enemy in The Blanket, Beds In The Easy) Anthony Burgess, Minerva 1996 (1956 1958 1959)
The Word of Suzie Wong. (of course!) Richard Mason, Fontana (1957)

Any more suggestions? Research is key.


Preliminary findings.

Fact 1: Most men have the same sex-drive as Brad Pitt.

Fact 2: Brad Pitt is attractive to women.

Fact 3: Brad Pitt likes to have sex with attractive women.

Fact 4: Attractive women throw themselves at Brad Pitt

Fact 5: Brad Pitt has sex a lot.

Fact 6: Attractive women do not throw themselves at most men, particularly unattractive men.

Fact 7: Most men do not have sex either as much as Brad Pitt or with women who are anywhere near as attractive as those Brad Pitt does have sex with.

Fact 8: Unattractive men (fat, bald, old expats in Asia for example) go to Girly-Bars in order to have sex with attractive women because of Fact 1.

Presumption: If Brad Pitt was a fat bald-headed old-fart expat, he would go to Girly-Bars because, as pointed out in Fact 3, he likes to have sex with attractive women. And he is now unattractive, so he has no fucking choice (Fact 8). No choice in fucking, as it were.

Big-Ask: Just think of E@L as Brad Pitt in a fat-guy costume.



Posted by: expat@large on Sep 21, 05 | 11:19 pm | Profile


i dun like brad pitt! he's overated!

Posted by: candyfeehily on Sep 25, 05 | 10:40 am

substitue your favorite male sex-bomb, put a fat suit on him and there's E@L!

Posted by: expat@large on Sep 25, 05 | 1:19 pm


Notify me when someone replies to this post?
Submit the word you see below:

Powered by pMachine