Novel Idea #234
E@L has had a million ideas buzzing in head lately. Or is that the maggots are growing into actual flies now? Anyway one of them (ideas, not flies) is to start a novel. Another idea is to keep going on it. A hazy third one is the idea to finish it.
The only other idea needed to kick these three off and running is an idea for a story. Some characters would be good. Conflict, denouement, resolution too; though not necessarily in that order.
Mm? Let's think of something totally made-up-on-the-spot and not something that he has been mulling over for five years and that has been weighing him down intolerably.
How about this: Boy meets Girl. Boy is married but unhappily. Girl is single and attracted to boy but has HMS (high moral standards.) Nothing happens.
Cut to six (6) years later. Boy is now single but also has HMS and won't sleep with a married woman. Girl is married but - boy doesn't know - unhappily. Ex-husband is going slowly psycho (cue the bad-guy music). Nothing happens.
Cut to another six (6) years later. Boy is living it up in expatworld. Girl is single, after a series of disastrous on-the-rebound boyfriends (violence, cheating, drinking, thieving) - wishing to re-kindle what had never really started with boy, but had always a possibility, something on the verge of happening. They chat through heartfelt and touching E-mails, get together in some expat fantasy world (say, at random, Hong Kong over the millennium celebrations) to test it out. Is this their true destiny fulfilled at last? Or is it a chance for a quick sympathy fuck? Boy a) now has such low moral standards after several year of falling into the spiral of whoring in Wanchai and the flesh-pots of Asia that he decides to call it quits on the grounds she deserves better, and b) he doesn't find her (indeed any white woman) as attractive as she was before. Girl goes home dejected, gets murdered by jealous ex-husband who had been lurking background since Chapter-3. Boy feels REALLY REALLY guilty.
Style: something between the dream-like poetic reminscences of The Alexandria Quartet and the reality-based programming of MangoSauce.
Or do you wusses prefer a happy ending?
This would have nothing to do with real life as no ex-semi-girlfriends whom E@L rejected and broke their hearts have ever been murdered. Not as far as he is aware. So it would be a fiction, not a catharsis. Totally not. He has nothing to feel guilty about. Nothing whatsoever.
Alternatively; together they discover this map in a cave on Mt Kota-Kinabulu [whilst sheltering from a tsunami] to a secret Nazi/Taliban/Aztec/Cantonese/early-Christian treasure/plot to overthrow the world/church/illegal-logging-kingpin, and use her knowledge of arcane mystic lore and his rugged good looks to chisel their way through seemingly impenetrable plot improbabilities to a film-worthy sequel and its associated kick-arse franchising opportunities.
OTHER MONKEYS SAID
Clearly, before before he becomes all psycho, the girl should enjoy a passionate threesome with the boy and her hubby.
This would at least provide a helpful moral to the story, i.e. threesomes are very bad and nobody should try them.
Clearly? - you have finer mind for the apt plot-line than I do!
and those 3somes can be expensive. Let me just check my Visa card to confirm that...
And half the time one of the girls has her, you know monthlies, or its her first night in the bar and she's never actually done this before, or she tries to hide in the bathroom until the other girl get it all done alone and you fall asleep, or she just wants to play with YOUR puffy nipples all night, or, or... but what would I know?
My favorite story 'bout that is Kingsley Amis's "The Green Man" - he ended up going out for a drink while his wife and girlfriend got it on, ignoring him... then they both left together and never came back...
And besides it didn't happen.
Oops, that's right this is fiction. Anything that boosts sales, can!