More on Massage
Did E@L say he was going to bed early? In Bangkok, with a late start tomorrow morning? Talk about your unreliable narrator!
Feeling a bit better after blogging (as you do), E@L ventured out for a "legit" massage at the place near his hotel.
As most people already know, there are two (2) types of massage:
a) where the girl/lady (a.k.a. "masseuse") slips a finger up your arse as she jacks you off, and
b) all others.
This one was a variation on b). It was a true Thai Body Massage. One where you get a same sex massager. Same as you when they were born, that is.
This place is pretty full-on: before undertaking one of their "Yoga Without The Pretentiousness" workouts, you have to sign a disclaimer saying that you understand that loss of the use of the lower limbs and ceding all bladder and bowel control for a period not less than two (2) weeks is a normal part of the massage process.
This guy seriously attempted to put E@L's arm into a position called by the most advanced Yoga experts "Dislocating The Shoulder," and then push from there. And what's with the leg go this way, body go that way bit? Yeow! Then to show he was a strong bloke, while E@L was lying on his stomach, he lifted E@L's legs backwards until his hips were off the mattress. Shit! E@L thought only Paris Hilton could do that!
Overall though it was totally 250Bht's worth of fun and E@L heartily recommends it to everybody.
Just as he recommends marriage and kids: everybody should suffer as I have suffered, he says.
OTHER MONKEYS SAID
You can actually get this type of wholesome massage in Singapore.
However most are of the fun but unwholesome variety.
Did you see the movie "Mystery Alaska"? Mike Myers is a TV producer who comes to town to watch Russell Crowe in a hockey game - first thing he says is: "Where can you get a rub and a tug in this town?" Cracked me up...