Beach Rd Patong 2008

The Beach Rd capitalist hyperbole has extended and flourished, rising like a burning neon phoenix from the damp ashes of Boxing Day 2004. Its malign crassness has spread throughout the entire town - there is no safe haven from the screaming lights, thumping Thai boxing ad-vans, the hectoring ambigu-sexuous beer touts with tits half out, and the young men of Indian extraction willing to shake my hand for a suit and tie.

The constant pressure to have sex is also a burden on an decrepit old fart like the current incarnation of E@L ...

I've really lost focus on the physical as: a) I can't drink b) mojo is low c) my feet are shit d) that cornish pastie in Molloy Malones (All Day Breakfast 10am-12Noon) did in my guts...

The nightlife here when you are sober is frightening. "Why you no take girl? Why you drink cola?" Beating the girls at Connect4 also does not endear me to them. It seems all the lumbar-tattooed, nose and tongue-studded bar-girls want (or really expect) are unthinking thugs who are just animated cocks with ATM access. Funny that. No-one lives outside this honeyed-tongued dream.

The only pleasant experience for me is to sit on the beach and watch the Russian girls in their string bikinis parade for their men. And wait for evening when I head to the cinema to grab a Dark Knight of my soul.


Still I DO see what beauty there is in life: a double rainbow hovers against the mountains, a pert pair of young Georgian buttocks bounces to the pool, the sea-bed exposes itself as a perfect tsunami wave unpeels across the horizon…


I would probably enjoy it a bit more if I wasn't getting ripped off at this little beachside place that I changed to earlier this week - 100Bht per Hr Internet! At the previous place I was at, up on the hills, Internet was free AND the room-rate was half. Mind you 30 or so tsunami ghosts are sharing the place with me here, must gotta pay for them too.

Golf would be nice too - it has stopped raining for half a day, but is that enough to dry out the courses?


Pleasant dinner last night overlooking the surging surf of Kata Noi Beach in Mom Tri's Villa Royale.

Even though I think our reservation was actually at one of the other Mom Tri's... I'm sure I expected a japanese menu, not Australian steak!



Posted by: expat@large on Jul 19, 08 | 4:54 pm | Profile


"Why you no take girl? Why you drink cola?"

I'm getting a vivid picture....a group of enraptured bar-girls listening eagerly to your detailed explanation.

Posted by: Dick on Jul 20, 08 | 12:19 am

I'm sure the vivid picture you get is because it reminds you of something Chuck Woww might have written, like in an email to me 20 mins before I posted that line.

I also got the "You angry me? You no like my girl? Why you go-o-o-o?"

My keenly crafted answer: "I just watch Batman, emotionary drained... Accuse me, I must go home watch Geelong win football, then Greg Norman winning golf [and choke in the last round E@L predicts], then get up 7am pray golf myself orso."

Posted by: expat@large on Jul 20, 08 | 4:34 pm

You can thank the Bali bombers for Phuket being so totally rooted and full of thug tourists these days.
Everything in life can be an industry in it's own right these days, get cash from the western wallets of the European sex offenders seems to be legitimate in the context of the fantasy land we call southern Thai beaches

Posted by: sino man on Jul 20, 08 | 6:23 pm

I used to tell them my wife cut my dick off and fed it to the ducks. They could relate to that. I'd even get a few sympathetic nods.

Posted by: Dick on Jul 20, 08 | 10:37 pm

Sino: thanking the Bali bombers (and most of those religiously misinformed Javanese Indos) is not something I plan on doing ever, for anything. Ironically, or otherwise.

Actually the tsunami while it has flushed the contamination all through Patong, has diverted some of your relief money towards groups like Holiday Inn and others that are building quite nice resorts at the bookends of Patong. Dined tonight in Floyd's (yes THAT Floyd) Brasserie in Busari - very nice. Wouldn't have seen that quality in town 5 year ago. A somewhat "resurrected" look to the old wine quaffer in the publicity shots, but good on him for being brave enough to take this place on - the wine prices were quite reasonable which stands it apart from say, MomTri's. The Aussie house red was excellent and at 250Bht for a big big glass, about Singapore price - the same, per bottle at 900 Bht a bargain!

Dick: Did she? You're so honest about this tragedy. Sympathetic nod from me too. But you no answer other question: "What you write?"

Posted by: expat@large on Jul 20, 08 | 11:50 pm

Ha, very funny E@L....that would account for my shortcomings right? 'What you write?'....that's another good question....I scribble little notes on bits of paper under difficult conditions then spend weeks trying to figure them out.

Posted by: Dick on Jul 21, 08 | 4:05 am

Yes, going off half-cocked, etc... and of course your pseudonym now resonates in all its glorious Freudian irony... LOL!!

I find strange cryptic comments on the notes pages of my mobile PDA/phone... Not so offensive - "Just replying to a text message."

Example coming up...

Posted by: expat@large on Jul 21, 08 | 11:54 am

Tried Floyd's two Saturdays ago and found the food inconsistent. Starters were fine but my steak with foie gras was way overcooked (they graciously tried again) and the bottle of Aussie red strangely tasted and smelt of chlorine laced pool water by the end of the meal! But ambience and service was good. May go back someday.

Posted by: guan on Aug 04, 08 | 1:33 pm

Guan: My wine was really nice... what can I say? OK my steak was also a tad firm and dry for a medium-rare, but it wasn't overcooked as such, it thought it may have been slightly overbled in the storage process, or perhaps rested in the pan overlong. That's often the way I have found it goes for eye fillet from Australia - they are not marbled or anything so they dry out quickly. It was fine though compared the horse-meat steaks you'd get in a Swiss-German-Thai pub in a soi off Bangla with a lbft bouncing on your knee...

And I have had really crap steaks in all sorts of otherwise great places all around the world!

I prefer my own cooking - at least I know who to blame.

but the foie gras was superb... my cholsterol is yet to recover.

Posted by: expat@large on Aug 04, 08 | 2:16 pm


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