Beautiful Camels Festival
Why is this man running?*
The eager camel fancier in the background heading towards us will probably not award the prize to this three-headed beast, ("Ugh, congenital abnormality - kill it! KILL IT!") but he may be in a hurry to assist astute judges select the most bee-yoooootiful camel in town from a host of other delightful dromedaries for the newly re-invigorated (oops, nearly typed 'reinviagrated') "Beautiful Camels Festival" that was in full flight while E@L was in Kuwait last week.
Who says there's absofuckinglutely nothing to do in this quaint, sandy, desert-like, sandy, pale-colored, sandy, dusty, did-I-mention-sandy? place.
While the rest of the world has to sit through all the brainless contestants of Miss World, Miss Universe, Miss Nude Blow-Job Queen, 'Miss' Thailand Katooey Queen, etc... all with their boring and vapid comments on "How I would save the world from poverty with the string from my bikini bottoms," etc... the lucky denizens of Kuwait get to choose the hallowed honorific for the most wholesome one-humped (no sluts!!) beast of burden in the whole freedom-loving sandy oil-field just by smelling her sweet breath! I am guessing light-heartedly here, as the criteria for judging the Most Beautiful Camel in Kuwait are a veiled secret. Like the women. And probably not worth looking at.** The criteria I mean.
Ah dear. I kid you not with this.
"This festival has a special meaning in the heart of every Kuwaiti... it represents our social traditions and culture, but we need more media coverage of such important events." Camel-fancier and lawyer Mirdas Al-Murtairi in the Kuwati Times, just the other day.
E@L is only too happy to oblige.
Click for full-size if you dare to read the details.
*(Because he doesn't want to get an ugly one.)
** Unlike the strictness in many other Arab countries, Kuwait allows women to dress in the Western Style if they wish. Some them babes were really cute. I just love how they enhance that eyebrow.
OTHER MONKEYS SAID
Meh, I was only runner up for the MNBJQ. For some reason the judges were disturbed by my answer to "How to Brighten Your Smile".
I said "Swallow".
The correct answer was "gargle"...
For some reason after reading this post, the term "camel toe" keeps popping up in my mind. In bright neon colours.
The correc term is "cloven hoofed" - but admittedly a nice, prominent 'camel toe' can attract one's attention and admiration.
Perhaps that's one of the winning criteria? "Hey Akhmad's beast, nice camel toe!"
Please put in a good word for me with the one on the right. I can't resist a low-hanging lip.
just when i think i've read everything, sugar!
Dick: that one remind you of your Ex?
Sav: you hadn't given up on my power to surprise, I hope!?