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All thongs* Aussie! My god how embarrasing it is to be from the same country as these people. Drunk as a lord at 4pm, all dressed up for the evening's parties with a long loose unironed shirt over jeans, he staggers into the lift of the Holiday Inn next to E@L and another guy, nearly trips when his thongs get caught, but his mate catches him, prevents a scene.

"You roight, maite?"

"Yeammm maite, I'mmma roight."

E@L, glad they are not standing near a naked flame as the doors soon open at the lobby, nods, mumbles, "Have a nice one lads!" at their retreating backs.

The drunken one reels around, his auditory sense heightened by beer, to look - if he could - at E@L's face, while still walking on, backwards. "Yeahmm moite, you too, moite! You gonah Sino?"

E@L shakes his head, he's not going to the Casino, taps the book he is holding. "Read, in a coffee shop."

The mates look at each other and giggle as they stumble to the door outside of which several women, their real mates, gaudily and flamboyant in red cocktail dresses, wait. One of the women sucks at a cigarette. Her lips draw in well past the point where healthy teeth would prevent such a retraction.

E@L later gets the joke. There is no coffee shop.

E@L (shudders)

* flip-flops


Posted by: expat@large on Mar 09, 08 | 10:34 pm | Profile


Maybe you should go read in the Sino?

Posted by: Indiana on Mar 10, 08 | 8:57 am

I thought I felt the IQ of the country go up half a point on Saturday evening!!

You should have seen him at midday. Chances are he's still sobering up from the night before.

Go back to your comfy room, order room service coffee and read.

Posted by: Pete3859 on Mar 10, 08 | 10:46 am

Indiana: The Sino (pronounced Seeno) might be a bit noisy.

Pete: it's the new Holiday Inn I'm at, not the Intercon. Barely liveable, unadorned, knob fell off in the shower (not mine, the bath/shower knob). And so he coffee will be terrible. Mistake again. Next week in Kuwait should be interesting.

By the way the people I am working with and the people in the shops and restaurants around Joondalup(?!) are incredibly friendly and helpful and cheeky and nice.

Posted by: expat@large on Mar 10, 08 | 6:06 pm

Thanks for the clarification. :-)

Posted by: Batbitch on Mar 11, 08 | 2:56 am

BB: You're welcome.

Tried to get dinner last night after 10pm - I had taken a nap (read: fell unconscious onto my bed after work due to seriously deformed sleeping patterns) and just woken up. This scintillating international "Casino Resort" didn't have a food place open except for some "glorified McDonalds" (according to the security guard). Had room service pizza (it was frozen - reheated, I believe) instead. Sigh.

Score +1 nice people (apart from the drunks). Score -1 shit food.

Posted by: expat@large on Mar 11, 08 | 8:22 am

Ah, but is there a nice tidy V at the ends of the toilet paper?

Posted by: Batbitch on Mar 11, 08 | 10:27 am

V disappointing. Indeed today, V absent!

Posted by: expat@large on Mar 11, 08 | 5:01 pm

how much longer, sugar? when do you get to go home again? (i know, i could go back and re-read, but really, me? indulge me this once, ok?)

Posted by: savannah on Mar 11, 08 | 9:15 pm

Sav: home for Sunday, then off to Kuwait for a week, back on Good Friday. Then in town for five days then to Hong Kong for Rugby (holiday)! Then to Vietnam and then South Africa, then to the Bethlem Insane Asylum for the President's sanctioned Water Cure.

Posted by: expat@large on Mar 11, 08 | 9:36 pm

Sometimes the women who like to date drunken fools are less than graceful themselves. I know many like it, but I never find smoking to be a graceful activity. When I meet a lovely woman and she later pulls out a 'smoke' I just switch off.

My plan to give a passport to all the dickheads and export them seems to have failed. It seemed work for a short time, but Bali and Phuket keep letting them return home! I even got Qantas to help and open a bogun flyer program they called Jetstar, all the ticker prices are quoted for one way only, but they still come back... I will have to dream up a new scheme.

Posted by: sino man on Mar 11, 08 | 9:59 pm

Sino: was that plan designed to keep ME out, too? You cunning buhstud!

It was the dental unhygeine that got me, those premature wrinkles around the puckering suckering lips...

Posted by: expat@large on Mar 11, 08 | 11:57 pm

Sorry Expat, my cultural snob side is showing. I suppose it is just part of the cringe I get when travelling these days and the Aussie welcome has been abused and worn out from the multitude of dickheads making their rite of passage to octoberfest of get in fights and sexually abuse the local women.

Not that the Poms are thr measure of anything special but they are really starting to establish the label JAFA for a good reason (Just Another Fucking Aussie)

Posted by: sino man on Mar 12, 08 | 7:21 pm

The Aussie's still get a good welcome in many places, such as USA! Especially if you're Heath Ledger: Russel Crowe maybe not so much (ok NZer, but JAFA started as JAF"Aucklander" apparently).

I tend to duck away from an Aussie accent if I hear it somewhere around the world. I wouldn't walk up to somebody and say Hi, just because they were Australian: I wouldn't do it Sydney (chances are they'd think you're a pooftah and kick your head in) -why would I do it in Singapore or Siberia?

I left Australia for certain reasons.

I like coming back, and I don't. Know what I mean?

Posted by: expat@large on Mar 12, 08 | 8:05 pm


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