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Trouser Snakes On A Plane

Two otherwise unrelated newstories have connived to prompt E@L to make several jokes despite his grumpy in-pain demeanour.

1: No Sex Please, We're Singapore Airlines - about the cabin restrictions on bonking in the double cabin on the Airbus 380 flight to Sydney.

Maybe the pilot was getting distracted by the rhythmical banging of someone's head against the partition at the front bulkhead.

2: Handcuff Tease Turns To Torture - an unfaithful boyfriend falls for the kinky "let me tie you up" ruse and gets vibrator-raped instead by his vindictive 'girlfriend' and her OTHER boyfriend. Obviously she can't claim to be all that faithful either.

So if this guy who was into bondage got into the Airbus 380 (non)bonking cabin, when the Fasten Seatbelts sign came on, would he go, "OOOOooooh yes pleeeeeeease!"...?

These are things we must ponder.

Things beyond words however, we cannot speak about.



Posted by: expat@large on Jan 22, 08 | 12:41 pm | Profile


I read somewhere that plenty of Aussies have either joined or are intending to join the Mile High club. Something to add to my list of things to do before I kick the bucket.

Posted by: VirginPornStar on Jan 22, 08 | 8:38 pm

exVPS: I won't be kicking buckets anytime soon, at least not until my feet heal, but I will be flying to Sydney a bit more over the next few years... maybe we could arrange to thrill two stones with one bird? Nudge nudge, wink wink...

Posted by: expat@large on Jan 22, 08 | 9:13 pm

The little historical note about the Cocos Islands was a nice touch I thought.

Posted by: Dick on Jan 23, 08 | 5:00 am

Dick: yes, when the mighty fall, the how makes good copy.

Posted by: expat@large on Jan 23, 08 | 11:53 am

recently the pilot got some grass on the tires of the A380 at Changi Airport and they had to load the passengers onto a 747 instead while they hosed off the dirt from the wheel (All the Pilot did was run onto the grass a tiny bit due to not being familiar with the extra width of the aircraft)

No imagine you had planned for months or years to take the trip with a partner, saved the pennies for the first class cabin to root you way through the flight, and you end up in the oversized armchair instead?

How pissed off would you be?

Posted by: sino man on Jan 23, 08 | 9:11 pm

sino man - But for airline safety, especially considering how the A380 is relatively new in operation, you can't quite blame them for a little extra caution.

IATA doesn't require compensation when airlines substitute one aircraft for another, but did SIA do anything for the passengers who had to sacrifice their illicit bonking?

Posted by: titianmadness on Jan 23, 08 | 10:23 pm

You name the time and the place, baby. ;-)

Posted by: VirginPornStar on Jan 23, 08 | 11:17 pm

titanmadness, I understand the safety requirements, and I prefer that my aircraft remain intact not only midflight but also that the wheels are attached for takeoff and landing.

However you have to agree that we are taking the blue balls concept to new heights (pun intended) by denying those chosen few the opportunity to empty the sack with the tray table returned to the original position (or tray table down if you need access to a refreshing beverage afterwards)

Posted by: sino man on Jan 24, 08 | 6:55 am


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