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Funny Poem

I don't often steal research cut-and-paste maudlin/cutesy chit-lit war-of-the-sexes piffle (I mucho too macho for that!) from Belgian expats, but there's a first time for everything. I havent got around to reading the profound and subtly titled blog, My Boyfriend Is A Twat, but it looks "vair funny" so far. Blurfed to it via Amazon.co.uk



Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who’s not a creep,
One who’s handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he’s gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who’ll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to “how big is my behind?”
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.


I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with
huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and hunting. This
doesn’t rhyme and I don’t give a shit.


Vair funny. (I take it this is a running gag from somewhere in the blog.)



Posted by: expat@large on Dec 05, 07 | 11:30 pm | Profile


I know Zoe is very highly thought of in blogging circles but I find that a bit sexist frankly. *Slinks quietly away but will no doubt return to see if any discussion has been stimulated.*

Posted by: Dick on Dec 06, 07 | 12:42 am

*a bit* - ya think!

The poem was quoted from a speech given by some European high profile lady.

Posted by: expat@large on Dec 06, 07 | 1:51 am

I know....I'm just in a silly mood this morning. Idle hands and all that. It's a good poem....balanced too...men are insensitive creeps and women never, ever just want sex.

Posted by: Dick on Dec 06, 07 | 2:44 am

Now you say, women don't want sex? - Dick, you really are in a mood this morning! It's this decision to stop blogging, it's playing with your attitude. Read more Schopenhauer, for a laugh.

& re: women not wanting sex, have you not been checking my flat-mate's blog lately? OMG! I'm thinking of cutting short my trip to Canada and putting my Persian rug into protective storage...

Posted by: expat@large on Dec 06, 07 | 3:22 am

And given one of her earlier blogs you might want to get a plumber to sort out your blocked toilet.

Posted by: DanPloy on Dec 06, 07 | 5:46 am

no, no...the key word there was 'just'....oh bugger it....I'm not doing sarcasm on the internet anymore....I mean it this time

Posted by: Dick on Dec 06, 07 | 6:38 am

Dick, how boring would the internet be without a touch of sarcasm?

Scary though sometimes, when people can't see one smiling during the times they make a few 'dry' comments and think it's going to come out seeming funny?? -- and then, oops - it doesn't!

(not talking about me of course - much...!)

Posted by: Sister on Dec 06, 07 | 11:45 pm

Dick: yeah, and so am I! Neither am I, I mean.

Mariah: true, I was getting Dick's irony, thought I was giving it back...

Dan: I couldn't find the reference to a blocked loo... you wanna feed me a link?

Posted by: expat@large on Dec 07, 07 | 12:13 am

E@L & Dick, after re-reading my previous post, hope it wasn't taken the wrong way.

I was actually referring to some of MY earlier sort-of sarcastic posts which some people mightn't have found funny! I was meaning that face-to-face when I make some 'dry' remark (bordering on facetious), people usually laugh, and appreciate that I was only having fun, but when I write with sarcasm, it doesn't always come across as funny! (funny that...)

Posted by: Sister on Dec 07, 07 | 8:07 pm

Hang in there. Just a question of time before my team of IT experts comes up with a sarcasm smiley.

Posted by: Dick on Dec 08, 07 | 12:08 am

hello, sugar! personally, i figure anyone who reads you is as witty (read sarcastic) as you ;-) so i never take offense, always laugh at the puns/sarcasm and generally go away enlightened, laughing, smiling, thoughtful or wahtever emotional response is necessary/provoked. but then again, i am an american and we find humor everywhere...i mean, look at our president...

i like dh's suggestion for a sarcastic smiley!
(btw, did you get over to the green mill?)

Posted by: savannah on Dec 08, 07 | 1:05 am

Never made it to the Green Mill - that was the free night, and I ended up in my own hotel, in the PumpRoom Restaurant and bar, chatting with the guy that all the Freudians here think was a father subsitute. Oops, wrong psychologist: if it was Freudian, surely I would be trying to kill him?

Posted by: expat@large on Dec 08, 07 | 7:51 am

p.s suggested sarcasm smiley: ((i))

Get back to me with opinions, I'll be beside my pool, sipping on a Bellini in the sun - if I can find some peach schnapps in this alcoholic backwater (my apartment!)

Posted by: expat@large on Dec 08, 07 | 7:54 am


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