I don't often
steal research cut-and-paste maudlin/cutesy chit-lit war-of-the-sexes piffle (I mucho too macho for that!) from Belgian expats, but there's a first time for everything. I havent got around to reading the profound and subtly titled blog, My Boyfriend Is A Twat, but it looks "vair funny" so far. Blurfed to it via Amazon.co.uk
WOMAN’S LOVE POEM
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who’s not a creep,
One who’s handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he’s gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who’ll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to “how big is my behind?”
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
MAN’S LOVE POEM
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with
huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and hunting. This
doesn’t rhyme and I don’t give a shit.
Vair funny. (I take it this is a running gag from somewhere in the blog.)
OTHER MONKEYS SAID
I know Zoe is very highly thought of in blogging circles but I find that a bit sexist frankly. *Slinks quietly away but will no doubt return to see if any discussion has been stimulated.*
*a bit* - ya think!
The poem was quoted from a speech given by some European high profile lady.
I know....I'm just in a silly mood this morning. Idle hands and all that. It's a good poem....balanced too...men are insensitive creeps and women never, ever just want sex.
Now you say, women don't want sex? - Dick, you really are in a mood this morning! It's this decision to stop blogging, it's playing with your attitude. Read more Schopenhauer, for a laugh.
& re: women not wanting sex, have you not been checking my flat-mate's blog lately? OMG! I'm thinking of cutting short my trip to Canada and putting my Persian rug into protective storage...
And given one of her earlier blogs you might want to get a plumber to sort out your blocked toilet.
no, no...the key word there was 'just'....oh bugger it....I'm not doing sarcasm on the internet anymore....I mean it this time
Dick, how boring would the internet be without a touch of sarcasm?
Scary though sometimes, when people can't see one smiling during the times they make a few 'dry' comments and think it's going to come out seeming funny?? -- and then, oops - it doesn't!
(not talking about me of course - much...!)
Dick: yeah, and so am I! Neither am I, I mean.
Mariah: true, I was getting Dick's irony, thought I was giving it back...
Dan: I couldn't find the reference to a blocked loo... you wanna feed me a link?
E@L & Dick, after re-reading my previous post, hope it wasn't taken the wrong way.
I was actually referring to some of MY earlier sort-of sarcastic posts which some people mightn't have found funny! I was meaning that face-to-face when I make some 'dry' remark (bordering on facetious), people usually laugh, and appreciate that I was only having fun, but when I write with sarcasm, it doesn't always come across as funny! (funny that...)
Hang in there. Just a question of time before my team of IT experts comes up with a sarcasm smiley.
hello, sugar! personally, i figure anyone who reads you is as witty (read sarcastic) as you ;-) so i never take offense, always laugh at the puns/sarcasm and generally go away enlightened, laughing, smiling, thoughtful or wahtever emotional response is necessary/provoked. but then again, i am an american and we find humor everywhere...i mean, look at our president...
i like dh's suggestion for a sarcastic smiley!
(btw, did you get over to the green mill?)
Never made it to the Green Mill - that was the free night, and I ended up in my own hotel, in the PumpRoom Restaurant and bar, chatting with the guy that all the Freudians here think was a father subsitute. Oops, wrong psychologist: if it was Freudian, surely I would be trying to kill him?
p.s suggested sarcasm smiley: ((i))
Get back to me with opinions, I'll be beside my pool, sipping on a Bellini in the sun - if I can find some peach schnapps in this alcoholic backwater (my apartment!)