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Breakfast At The Homesick Restaurant

"Table, one perthun?" asked the waitress with the typical artificial rictus of someone who would rather be someone else. I mean "somewhere" else, don't I? Somewhere other than Largerbrewery, as my sales-lady insists on pronouncing Ratchaburi, Thailand (on the road west towards Burma, pronounced Mee-an-mar...)

I am in the Great Western Hotel. It is neither great nor western. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

Salad, mainly sliced cabbage, with thousand island dressing. In the bain-maris; a bit'a chicken with a bitter gourd. Rice. More rice (fried). Pork stir-fry with scads of prik (chili). Rice soup. Fruit; papaya and dragon fruit slices. Chillied sugar to taste.

Ah, here's the "Western Selection"...

Oblong slices of ham folded, stewing underwater to keep them from drying out and turning... into, what? Pork leather? Pale sections of sausage similarly drowned, labelled 'chicken'. Ring-fried eggs, like so many perfect illustrations in an encyclopedia, a dozen specimens dessicating in the only unheated tray. Corn flakes (Dr Kellogg would be proud, would consider this a victory). Bread slices are laid in a pretty display that allow each slice access to the oxygen required to make it go stale as fast as possible...

I toast some stale bread and splodge on a spoon of watery marmalade. The orange juice is from the super sweet local variety of green-skinned orange, but this glass is well watered down.

Ah breakfast. My favorite meal.


I realize why this feast reminds me of the time I worked in an Infertility Clinic...

The eggs are cold and dry and the sausages are chicken.*


* Boom boom! The sole purpose of this post was to deliver that joke. But you realised that orredy, yar?


Posted by: expat@large on May 18, 07 | 10:16 am | Profile


Wow...you are developing a sense of humour ~grin~

I am still looking for a good breakfast place here that opens before 11AM...and serves a good fry-up.

Posted by: Indiana on May 18, 07 | 11:29 am

I am looking for one that serves at a respectable, civilized hour on the weekends - whatever time it is that I stumble out of bed and into a taxi.

Breakfast is the most important meal of the late afternoon, I always say.

Posted by: expat@large on May 18, 07 | 6:49 pm

yuk, yuk, yuk!!

Here on Dominica one encounters boiled green banana for breakfast. It is enough to make me run back to bed.

Jen at livingdominica.blogspot.com

Posted by: Jen on May 18, 07 | 7:45 pm

Thanks Jen: the "traditional" aka tourist scam breakfast in the back-packers' experience of Thailand is banana pancakes. Thais just go WTF?

Grilled bananas on the streets stalls though, yum. Those small lady-finger bananas, ripe, which really TASTE of banana, unlike the large yellow-plastic things we are getting used to Australia.

Posted by: expat@large on May 18, 07 | 8:02 pm

yep, we eat all sorts of banana here, since it is the number one export. I just can't do the boiled green things. The little finger bananas are the best!

Posted by: Jen on May 18, 07 | 8:09 pm

"new shit has come to light.."

movie, pls? (go have a look ~wink~)

Posted by: savannah on May 19, 07 | 12:00 am

Jen: even the yellow-plastic ones?

Sav: ummm... The 'Burbs? It sounds like something Corey Feldman would say.

Yep have been. Good start...

Posted by: expat@large on May 19, 07 | 12:23 am

Thanks for reminding me about the marmalade. As to why Bangkok bloggers all hate each other so much. I have given the matter some thought and decided that itís because individually they all understand Bangkok and Thais much, much better than anybody else. Also, ideally, they would like to have the place to themselves but by the very act of discussing it they attract more of the very people they dislike. Something like that. Throw in the fact that deep down they know they will never be anything but farang with too much time on their hands. Hope this helps.

Posted by: Dick on May 19, 07 | 2:21 am

"the big lebowski"

jeff bridges as "the dude

Posted by: savannah on May 19, 07 | 2:33 am

Dick: it's the small things that make for realism. Yes, with BKK Blggrs there's a smug sense of ownership of the "truth" about Thailand. Not much humility there, though perhaps well deserved in some cases (not that I read them a lot.)

Sav: I'd call that close - who is 'The Dude' but Corey Feldman as a (non)grown-up? Ah, the inimitable Coen Bros, how could I have missed it? Going to put on the DVD for breakfast... just back in town, no milk for a white Russian, damnit.

Posted by: expat@large on May 19, 07 | 10:19 am

close but no cigar, mi amor... BUT i'll give it to you because that was an excellent save!
*laughing as i sign off as*

your special lady friend

(lest anyone get the wrong idea...that's also a line for the same movie)

Posted by: savannah on May 19, 07 | 12:08 pm


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