There's just a million fart jokes waiting to be tastefully exploited here in Österreich. I kid you not.
Here in the humble village of Klösterfüch, E@L is staying at a cozy Gasthof called the 'Hotel Zimmerfrei'. Cozy, as in my room is just like a hotel room, only smaller. There is no face-cloth and only one small towel. WTF? However with breakfast AND happy hour snacks AND dinner included, who cares if no-one can speak English and there is no laundry service and only one computer within zwanzig kilometer... (and I have commandeered it for this posting!)
Yesterday, the morning was bright, clear and sunny, but there wasn't much snow except at the top of the mountain. It has been a poor season in Austria overall. The view was fantastic when we finally got up there, mountain ridges etched into the crystal blue horizon for 360° over to the slopes of Kitzbühl just a few kilomteres away - but not reachable from these ski-fields as the lower slopes have no snow.
With me are two older guys, T's 61 year old father, his 67 year old friend, ex-ski-instructor T, and his 'wife' P; the latter two are about ten years younger than me. They can all really ski well of course but I am a perpetual beginner/intermediate skier, only skiing a few days every coupla years, and it takes me a while to get back into it. Today, I am the slowcoach, holding them up. They are very goodnatured about this. I am always the last to arrive a corner or the top of next slope, exhausted from the hard work I make of my turns, maybe caked in some snow from a slide on my back, where they are waiting, eager to take off again, so I never get much of a rest between runs.
Well before lunchtime the snow was cut-up by the busy traffic and getting too heavy under the effects of the brilliant sun. E@L's quivering thighs sought out the restaurant "ImmerEssen" to provide rest, respite and bier while they all had another run or two... and then things got even würst...
There was more thigh-crushing slush to navigate before I could find a way home. I eventually abandoned them half-way upon the hill to come down safely by the car-park ski-lift. They had more slush to ski through, but I was forced to walk 300m up the road to the hotel with all my gear in the warm sunshine, so it worked out even really. Talk about sweat!
After a good rest (including bier), we drove over the pass into the valley of Mittersill proper. It is just fantastic scenery. And the hills are alive alright, with the smell of cow-shit.
Those huge bulky mountains buttressing against the green fertile lands by the river far far down - what a landscape! It truly generates that marvellous sense of awe at the power in nature, of the capacity of man to appreciate its beauty and to place himself in perspective. The perfect place to contemplate world domination, really.
Imagine if Singapore actually had something resembling geographical features, and LKY had had some form of Chinese Berchtesgarten looking out over the Straits of Malacca...
No, don't even think it...
The village was asleep when we entered, so we quietly took our cash from the ATM and snuck out again, trying not to wake anybody. Softly softly Sunday Austrian country village.
Last night the weather turned. The snow pounding on the roof kept me awake all night. I watched it change form blustery rain to sleet to drifts of snow. Maybe some delayed jet-lag woke me every half hour from 2am on. Maybe the crap down pillow that looks as big as half the bed but scrunches up to scarcely more than the size of a fist when you try to get some head support! Maybe all that beer and wine I drank kept filling my bladder!
This morning it is still snowing heavily. It must have dumped 2ft overnight. We had to dig T's car out so he could get P down to Mittersill again for a meeting this morning. One of the couples in our group have brought their dog from Vienna, part fox terrier, part border collie (Australian sheepdog). A crazy cuddly thing that loves running about it the snow as T digs out his car and I video it. Maybe the dog thinks this mountain is one giant sheep!
Cramping pain and stiffness tell me to let the thighs sit today's exercise opportunity out. An hour after typing that sentence "It is still snowing heavily" in the previous paragraph, it is still snowing heavily. Maybe a few runs later on the kinderslope to loosen the lactic acid. Tomorrow, they promise sun and powder. Talcum powder for my rash?
OTHER MONKEYS SAID
this could work!
*bet you're glad i learned how to do this now, ain'tcha?*
Thanks for that - I used some of the meusli from the breakfast table instead.