Sharp Wine

For the desperate housewives week-day piss-up lunch set... a wine description we'd like to see:

A chardonnay so sharp you could slash your wrists on it.

A line that came to me this morning over my $40 eggs and bacon (WTF, no toast, no black pudding?) at P.S. Cafe - I felt like I was in {insert some trendoid-and-tai-tai-chic suburb} in Sydney or LA.

(Have I read this line somewhere else or is it an E@L original? WhoTFFKnows?)


While waiting there for friends, I read an old copy of the SMH and came across an opinion piece about Grumpy Old People. Well fuck you very much, John Oxley, but it's not that simple. BTW, this article is merely a rehash of some "whingeing pom" stereotyping article I might have read in The Truth in the mid-60s (I could read back then, how about you?).

To set the record straight, dear readers, *E@L* is not some fly-by-nightnappy nouveau-grump who has waltzed into middle-age expecting so much more and so no, I cannot "just get over it".

No, no, no!

E@L is the genu-whine grump with lumps. I was a grump before it was chic to be cheesed off, before it was popular to be pissed off, when it wasn't antediluvian to be animadverse (fuck this is a numinously SUPERIOR dictionary!), before you had to be withered on the outside to pass a withering look of contempt upon the modern world.

And I trust I'll be a grump until that final taxi ride. I'll go down abusing the driver like you won't believe...

You see the world had always been modern, because it has always been NOW. And therefore it has always been shit. We genuine GOP do not complain about the current world because "things were so much better back in the good old days."


The world was absolute shit back in that previous NOW as well. The good old days were crap too. Currently, as in Right Here, Right Now, it has just gotten even worse.

And it will continue to do so, for these are strange days indeed.

E@L (aka The Doofus)


Posted by: expat@large on Mar 03, 07 | 12:39 pm | Profile


*clap, clap*

i do so LOVE when you pontificate!!! it's another endearing quality...right up there with your literalness...polysyllabic words AND movie references....not too shabby monkeyboy *w*

Posted by: savannah on Mar 03, 07 | 3:10 pm

A chardonnay so sharp you could slash your wrists on it.

- i just love this line! it's awesome. will use it on some friends to impress them when we're having wine next.

Posted by: The Ivy on Mar 03, 07 | 7:51 pm

Hey, if you like James Cameron, you'll love his newest project.

Posted by: Samantha on Mar 03, 07 | 10:30 pm

Ivy, you do know that I am referring to the sub-clinical depression of these emotionally depleted (if technically obscenely rich) wives, forced by overachieving husbands to forego their own career in the KTV hostess industry, their children stolen from them by clutching Indonesian maids distraught over their own abandoned offspring. It's a tragedy all round... They commit suicide glass by glass, as surely as if they were actually cutting their wrists... again.

Sam: Little bit concerned that some gullible people (Smoot or Steph, etc) might think that this is real and Jesus really does have low blood sugar and that it is possible to clone a person/divinity and make that clone exactly the same age as the person/divinity was when you cloned them - like, call me cynical but wouldn't they have to, sorta, like, you know, grow up first?

I preferred his wife, Acherly, I mean actually.

Posted by: expat@large on Mar 03, 07 | 11:47 pm

Ha! I just answered that very question for my 9-year-old daughter who asked, "When you clone someone, are they instantly made the same age they were when they were cloned?" My answer started a creative exploration of the possibilities of having, for all intents and purposes, a twin who is young enough to be your offspring, and the fact that DNA is just a map...the direction we take along that map is influenced by lots of other things we experience in life.

Kids are good for making you think about things you might not have considered otherwise. And that's about all.

I kid, I kid!

Posted by: Samantha on Mar 04, 07 | 1:15 am


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